You may have already mastered です・ます form and know some keigo transformations. But in real business settings — writing emails, making phone calls, attending meetings, receiving clients — basic politeness isn't nearly enough.
The secret to formal Japanese lies in cushion phrases (クッション言葉): softening expressions added before making a request or saying something the listener might find uncomfortable. This article covers the phrases that make you sound "comfortable to listen to" in professional settings.
Polite Requests: Cushion Before You Ask
Saying 〜してください (please do...) directly sounds too blunt in formal situations. Japanese speakers add a cushion phrase before the request:
恐れ入りますが — I'm sorry to trouble you, but...
恐れ入りますが (osore irimasu ga) is one of the most common cushion phrases. It literally means "I feel fearful/awed":
恐れ入りますが、お名前をもう一度お願いできますか。 → I'm sorry to trouble you, but could you tell me your name once more?
差し支えなければ — If you don't mind...
差し支えなければ (sashitsukae nakereba) literally means "if there's no hindrance," leaving room for the other person to decline:
差し支えなければ、ご連絡先を教えていただけますか。 → If you don't mind, could you share your contact information?
お手数ですが — Sorry for the trouble, but...
お手数ですが (otesuu desu ga) expresses "I know this takes effort on your part":
お手数ですが、こちらの書類にご記入をお願いいたします。 → Sorry for the trouble, but please fill in this document.
ご面倒をおかけしますが — I apologize for the inconvenience...
ご面倒をおかけしますが (gomendou o okake shimasu ga) is more formal than お手数ですが:
ご面倒をおかけしますが、ご確認いただけますでしょうか。 → I apologize for the inconvenience, but would you be able to verify this?
Cushion Phrase Comparison
| Cushion Phrase | Tone | Best Used When |
|---|---|---|
| 恐れ入りますが | Humble/awed | Most versatile — before any request |
| 差し支えなければ | Giving the other person a choice | Sensitive/privacy-related requests |
| お手数ですが | Apologizing for the effort | Asking someone to do a specific task |
| ご面倒をおかけしますが | Deeper apology | Complex or time-consuming requests |
Humble Openings: Prefacing Bold Statements
These expressions are used when you need to say something that might be considered overstepping your bounds:
僭越ながら — Though it may be presumptuous of me...
僭越ながら (senetsu nagara) means "though I'm overstepping my position" — used when offering suggestions to superiors:
僭越ながら、一つ提案がございます。 → Though it may be presumptuous, I have a suggestion.
不躾ながら — Though this is rather forward of me...
不躾ながら (bushitsuke nagara) means "though this is impolite/forward":
不躾ながら、お伺いしたいことがございます。 → Though this is rather forward, there's something I'd like to ask.
恐縮ですが — I'm truly sorry, but...
恐縮ですが (kyoushuku desu ga) is similar to 恐れ入りますが but more formal, with an added sense of "I feel unworthy":
恐縮ですが、明日の会議の時間を変更していただけないでしょうか。 → I'm truly sorry, but would it be possible to change tomorrow's meeting time?
つかぬことをお伺いしますが — May I ask an unrelated question...
つかぬことをお伺いしますが is used to ask a question that's off-topic or might seem random:
つかぬことをお伺いしますが、こちらのビルにはATMはありますか。 → May I ask an unrelated question — is there an ATM in this building?
The Art of Declining: How Japanese Says "No"
Japanese rarely uses direct refusals like いいえ (no) or できません (I can't). Formal rejections are so indirect that you need to "read the air" to understand them:
ちょっと難しいです — That's a bit difficult (= No)
A: 来週までに仕上げられますか。 (Can you finish this by next week?) B: ちょっと難しいですね…… (That's a bit difficult...)
The real meaning is no. When you hear a Japanese person say 難しい in a business context, you've almost certainly been turned down.
検討させていただきます — Let me consider it (= Probably no)
ご提案ありがとうございます。検討させていただきます。 → Thank you for your proposal. We'll take it under consideration.
⚠️ In business, 検討します is frequently a polite rejection. If you hear this and there's no follow-up, it most likely means "no."
せっかくですが — Thank you for the kind offer, but...
せっかくですが is used to decline someone's goodwill or invitation:
せっかくのお誘いですが、その日は先約がありまして…… → Thank you for the kind invitation, but I already have plans that day...
遠慮させていただきます — I'll respectfully decline
遠慮させていただきます (enryo sasete itadakimasu) is the clearest formal refusal:
大変ありがたいお話ですが、今回は遠慮させていただきます。 → That's a very generous offer, but I'll have to respectfully decline this time.
Refusal Directness Scale
| Expression | How clear is the "no"? | Interpretation |
|---|---|---|
| ちょっと難しいですね | ★★☆ | No (but leaving some room) |
| 検討させていただきます | ★★☆ | Probably no (watch for follow-up) |
| せっかくですが…… | ★★★ | No (but appreciating the gesture) |
| 遠慮させていただきます | ★★★★ | Clear no (maximum politeness) |
Gratitude Beyond ありがとう
| Expression | Tone | When to use |
|---|---|---|
| 助かります | Practical help | Someone helped you with something specific |
| ありがたいです | Heartfelt gratitude | You feel touched by someone's kindness |
| 感謝いたします | Formal gratitude | Emails, speeches, official contexts |
A colleague helps you carry heavy boxes: 助かります！ありがとう！ → That's a huge help! Thank you!
Closing an email: ご協力いただき、心より感謝いたします。 → I sincerely appreciate your cooperation.
助かります (tasukarimasu) is particularly useful — it literally means "I'm saved," expressing that someone's help genuinely made a difference.
Cultural Insight: 建前 vs 本音
Behind formal Japanese lies the cultural concept of 建前 (tatemae, public face) and 本音 (honne, true feelings):
| 建前 (Surface meaning) | 本音 (True meaning) |
|---|---|
| 検討させていただきます | We're not going to adopt this |
| ちょっと難しいですね | That's not possible |
| また今度 | There won't be a next time |
| 大丈夫です | No thank you |
This isn't "dishonesty" — it's the Japanese cultural approach to maintaining harmony (和). Direct rejection would create awkwardness for both sides; indirect language provides a graceful exit.
How to Read Between the Lines
- If they say 難しい or 検討します → interpret it as "no"
- If they don't give a clear はい → it's likely a refusal
- If they pile on cushion phrases → what comes next might be unwelcome
- If they say また今度 (maybe next time) → don't actually schedule a next time
Summary
- 恐れ入りますが / お手数ですが are cushion phrases that soften requests
- 差し支えなければ is especially useful for privacy-sensitive requests, giving the other person room to decline
- 僭越ながら / 不躾ながら are for when you need to speak up to superiors or ask bold questions
- ちょっと難しい and 検討します usually mean "no" in business contexts
- せっかくですが / 遠慮させていただきます are standard formal refusals
- 助かります is a more concrete, heartfelt alternative to ありがとう
- Understanding 建前 vs 本音 is essential for reading between the lines in Japanese
Practice Quiz
Q1. You want to ask a client for their contact information but aren't sure if they're willing to share. What should you say?
Show Answer
差し支えなければ、ご連絡先を教えていただけますか。
差し支えなければ (if you don't mind) gives the other person room to decline — the standard cushion for privacy-sensitive requests.
Q2. A client invites you to play golf next week, but you already have plans. How do you politely decline?
Show Answer
せっかくのお誘いですが、その日は先約がありまして、遠慮させていただきます。
せっかくですが first acknowledges the kind invitation, then 遠慮させていただきます delivers the clear but polite refusal.
Q3. Someone tells you 検討させていただきます. How should you interpret this?
Show Answer
Most likely a rejection.
In Japanese business settings, 検討させていただきます (we'll consider it) without a specific timeline or follow-up plan is typically a polite way of saying "no." Watch for whether there's any actual follow-up.