「たい」 expresses "I want to do something" — the actor is yourself. But what if you want someone else to do it?
私は日本に行きたい。 → I want to go to Japan. (I go.)
あなたに日本に行ってほしい。 → I want you to go to Japan. (You go.)
The first uses たい (I do it), the second uses てほしい (you do it).
Basic Usage: Wanting Someone to Do Something
The structure of てほしい is:
(person) に + verb て-form + ほしい
-
あなたに幸せになってほしい。 → I want you to be happy.
-
春が早く来てほしい。 → I want spring to come soon.
-
先生にもう一度説明してほしい。 → I want the teacher to explain it one more time.
-
彼に謝ってほしい。 → I want him to apologize.
Particle Note
The person who performs the action is marked with に:
| I want | Who does it | What |
|---|---|---|
| — | あなたに | 来てほしい |
| — | 先生に | 説明してほしい |
| — | 彼に | 謝ってほしい |
When the subject is a natural phenomenon or thing, に can be omitted: 「雨が止んでほしい」 (I want the rain to stop).
Negative Form: Wanting Someone NOT to Do Something
There are two ways to negate てほしい:
1. ないでほしい (Please don't do it)
-
嘘をつかないでほしい。 → I don't want you to lie.
-
一人で行かないでほしい。 → I don't want you to go alone.
2. てほしくない (I don't want you to do it)
- 彼に知られてほしくない。 → I don't want him to find out.
| Structure | Nuance | |
|---|---|---|
| ないでほしい | Verb ない-form + でほしい | "Please don't do that" |
| てほしくない | Verb て-form + ほしくない | "I don't want you to do that" |
てほしい vs たい
| たい | てほしい | |
|---|---|---|
| Who acts | Myself | Someone else |
| Structure | Verb ます-stem + たい | (person) に + verb て-form + ほしい |
| Example | 食べたい (I want to eat) | 食べてほしい (I want you to eat) |
Memory trick: たい = inward (I want to do), てほしい = outward (I want you to do).
てほしい vs てください
Both can express "please do," but the tone differs:
| てほしい | てください | |
|---|---|---|
| Tone | Expressing a wish | Direct request |
| Directness | Indirect | Direct |
| To superiors | ✅ More tactful | ⚠️ Can be too direct |
- 静かにしてください。 → Please be quiet. (Direct request)
- 静かにしてほしい。 → I wish it were quiet. (Expressing a wish)
Self-Test
Q1. How do you say "I want you to come to my birthday party" in Japanese?
Show answer
私の誕生日パーティーに来てほしい。 The desired action = 来る → 来て + ほしい.
Q2. How do you say "I want the rain to stop soon" in Japanese?
Show answer
雨が早く止んでほしい。 The subject is a natural phenomenon (rain), so に isn't needed. 止む → 止んで + ほしい.
Q3. What's the difference between 「嘘をつかないでほしい」 and 「嘘をついてほしくない」?
Show answer
They mean roughly the same thing, but the nuance differs. 「つかないでほしい」 emphasizes "please don't do that" (negating the action), while 「ついてほしくない」 emphasizes "I don't want that" (negating the wish).
Summary
- てほしい: Want someone else to do something; the actor is marked with に
- Two negatives: ないでほしい (don't do it) vs. てほしくない (I don't want you to)
- たい = I want to do; てほしい = I want you to do
- てほしい is more tactful than てください