At the N5 level, we learned three basic benefactive verbs:
| Direction | Plain form | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| I → them | てあげる | I do something for them |
| They → me | てくれる | They do something for me |
| I ← them | てもらう | I have them do something for me |
But in real life, when the other person is a teacher, boss, or client, you can't just say 「先生が教えてくれた」— that's too casual.
At the N4 level, each basic verb gets an honorific upgrade:
| Direction | Plain form | Honorific form |
|---|---|---|
| I → them (superior) | てあげる | てさしあげる |
| They (superior) → me | てくれる | てくださる |
| I ← them (superior) | てもらう | ていただく |
てくださる: A Superior Does Something for Me (Respectful)
The respectful version of てくれる. The subject is the other person (senior, boss, etc.), expressing that they did something for me.
-
課長の奥さんがお弁当を準備してくださいました。 → The section chief's wife prepared boxed lunches for us.
-
先生が推薦書を書いてくださった。 → The teacher wrote a recommendation letter for me.
How to decide: Subject is a "superior" + doing something for me → use てくださる.
Conjugation of くださる
くださる is a godan verb with slightly irregular conjugation:
| Form | Writing |
|---|---|
| ます form | くださいます |
| た form | くださった / くださいました |
| Imperative | ください |
That's right — 「〜てください」 is actually the imperative form of 「てくださる」. The 「読んでください」 you say every day is fundamentally an honorific benefactive verb.
ていただく: I Ask a Superior to Do Something (Humble)
The humble version of てもらう. The subject is me, expressing that I asked a superior to do something for me.
-
先生に中国語の文法を見ていただきます。 → I'll ask the teacher to check my Chinese grammar.
-
社長にサインしていただいた。 → I had the company president sign it for me.
How to decide: Subject is "me" + asking a superior to do something → use ていただく.
てもらう vs ていただく
| てもらう | ていただく | |
|---|---|---|
| Used with | Peers, friends | Seniors, superiors |
| Tone | Casual | Respectful |
- 友達に手伝ってもらった。 → I had my friend help me.
- 先生に教えていただいた。 → I had the teacher instruct me.
てさしあげる: I Do Something for a Superior (Humble)
The humble version of てあげる. The subject is me, expressing that I did something for a superior.
-
万年筆をプレゼントしてさしあげます。 → I'll give a fountain pen as a gift to the teacher.
-
先生を家まで送ってさしあげた。 → I gave the teacher a ride home.
Caution: てさしあげる can sometimes make the listener uncomfortable — it implies "I went out of my way to do this for you." In everyday conversation, simply saying 「〜しました」 is often more natural.
- ✅ 先生を家までお送りしました。 (Natural)
- ⚠️ 先生を家まで送ってさしあげました。 (Slightly presumptuous)
All Six Benefactive Verbs at a Glance
Comparing all three pairs of plain + honorific forms:
| Direction | Plain form | Honorific form | Relationship |
|---|---|---|---|
| I → them | てあげる | てさしあげる | I do for them (humble) |
| They → me | てくれる | てくださる | They do for me (respectful) |
| I ← them | てもらう | ていただく | I ask them to do (humble) |
The core logic stays the same — it's still about who is the subject and who benefits. Honorifics simply add a layer of hierarchy.
に vs を: The Particle Determines Who Benefits
This subtle point is often overlooked, but frequently tested:
-
田中さんに送ってもらいました。 → I asked Tanaka to give me a ride. (Tanaka is the one doing the action; に marks the person asked)
-
田中さんを送ってもらいました。 → I asked someone to give Tanaka a ride. (Tanaka is the one being driven; を marks the object of the action)
Same verb 「送ってもらう」, different particle, completely different meaning:
| Particle | Tanaka's role | Who gets driven |
|---|---|---|
| に | The driver (doer) | Me |
| を | The passenger (object) | Tanaka |
Quick rule: に + てもらう = ask the に-person to do it; を + てもらう = ask someone to do it to the を-person.
Potential Form: "Could You Please...?"
Benefactive verbs can also take the potential form to express "would you be able to do...?" — this is the most common polite request pattern.
| Plain | Potential | Usage |
|---|---|---|
| てもらう | てもらえる | Could you do this? |
| ていただく | ていただける | Could you do this? (More polite) |
-
田中さん、これを読んでもらえますか？ → Tanaka, could you read this for me?
-
先生、推薦書を書いていただけますか？ → Teacher, would you be able to write a recommendation letter for me?
Which Ones Can Take the Potential Form?
| Verb | Potential form? |
|---|---|
| もらう → もらえる | ✅ |
| いただく → いただける | ✅ |
| あげる → あげられる | ✅ |
| さしあげる → さしあげられる | ✅ |
| くれる | ❌ |
| くださる | ❌ |
Why can't くれる and くださる take the potential form? Because "whether to give or not" is the other person's decision — you can't say "you can do this for me," you can only say "I can ask you to do this."
Expressing Gratitude: てくれてありがとう
When someone does something for you, Japanese uses 「てくれてありがとう」 to express thanks:
- 荷物を持ってくれてありがとう。 → Thanks for carrying my luggage.
For superiors, use くださる:
- 教えてくださってありがとうございます。 → Thank you for teaching me.
Self-Check
Q1. 先生が作文を直して＿＿。(The teacher corrected my essay — use honorifics)
A. くれた B. くださった C. もらった
Show answer
B. くださった. The subject is the teacher (superior), doing something for me → use てくださる.
Q2. 先生に推薦書を書いて＿＿。(I want to ask the teacher to write a recommendation letter — use a polite request)
A. いただけますか B. くださいますか C. もらえますか
Show answer
A. いただけますか. The subject is me, asking a superior to do something → use the potential form of ていただく. Option B is also possible but changes the grammatical subject to the teacher. Option C is grammatically correct but not respectful enough.
Q3. 田中さん＿＿送ってもらった。Does this mean "asked Tanaka to drive me" or "asked someone to drive Tanaka"?
A. に → Asked Tanaka to drive me B. を → Asked someone to drive Tanaka
Show answer
If に → asked Tanaka to drive me; if を → asked someone to drive Tanaka. に marks the doer of the action, を marks the object of the action.
Summary
- てくれる → てくださる (respectful), てもらう → ていただく (humble), てあげる → てさしあげる (humble)
- に + てもらう = ask the に-person to do it; を + てもらう = ask someone to do it to the を-person
- てもらえる / ていただける are the most practical polite request patterns
- くれる / くださる have no potential form — "whether to give" is the other person's decision
- てくれてありがとう / てくださってありがとうございます are fixed patterns for expressing gratitude